Category Archives: Sex and Sexuality

How To Tell If Someone Likes You On Facebook @duttyberryshow


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Can you imagine having to actually meet someone in person and engaging in a conversation?  Sounds weird, right?  Facebook emerged  in 2004 and since then, it has gone on to totally revolutionize the art of human interaction and more specifically how we date. Since people are spending an increasing amount of time on the network, chances are your next partner could already be in your friends list hinting that they are interested in you.  Pay attention to the following clues and you could be well on your to leaving team single behind.

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  1. Likes all your pictures and statuses

This is probably the most obvious thing that someone can do that would indicated their interest in you.  If he/she likes everything that you upload or post, regardless of how silly the post maybe, that person is crushing hard.

2) Pokes you

Honestly, this is the most annoying thing someone can do online.  However, some people are into poking and see it as a form of flirting.  This practice can take place with someone who is not even apart of your friends list, and in that case it’s a sure sign that he/she may be into you.  Whatever you do, don’t engage in a poke war, if you have never communicated with the person.  I find that creepy.

3)  Greets you with a message the minute you’re online

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in Facebook world, “Ain’t nobody got time to waste.” Your admirer will be constantly monitoring their chat list to see if that green light is beside your name.  In extreme cases, your chat is left open in order to make your arrival online easily visible.  Look out for smileys after statements. For example “Hey 🙂 “.  This shows that they are excited to chat with you.

4) Mentions your activities in conversations

You gotta be cautious with this one.  On one hand, it could be an adorable thing, but on the other hand, it screams stalker.  If you posted that you went to a Sean Paul concert two months ago and he/she mentions that you’re a Dancehall fan and that Sean Paul is your favorite artiste, then you most definitely know they have been drawn to you for quite some time and was consumed with your timeline.

5) Finds silly excuses to communicate with you shortly after you’ve posted sexy pics

As humans we are sexual creatures.  For some reason, the minute you post a picture showcasing your physique, the shyest of persons will suddenly develop intense ‘thirst’  gain enough courage to start a conversation online.  If he/she has been in your friend list for a while, and never sought to contact you until u shared a skimpy provocative pic of yourself, then you don’t need to second guess if they find you attractive.

6) Tries to appeal to your interests

If you are known to be a huge anime fan and all of a sudden you realize that someone in your friend list has started to post videos of all the anime you’ve stated that you enjoy, he/she is desperately trying to get your attention and hoping for you to comment.

7) Supports anything you do online

You will never find a more supportive person than someone who likes you.  If you’ve entered a contest and asked them to vote, they will go above and beyond to assist you.  The second your twitter,youtube, watsapp, or pin, instagram or vine info is posted, rest assured that you will be added faster than Bolt in a 100m.

8)  Jumps at any possible opportunity to comment on your status or post on your wall

A birthday greeting is a treasure piece for someone who is secretly into you on Facebook. Especially if no previous communication has occurred.  Usually, only close friends would leave a birthday greeting that goes beyond “HBD”, but if someone is attracted to you, they will make the effort to ensure that their greeting is memorable.  Also, if you’ve made a reasonably ‘good’ post and none of your actual friends have either, liked, shared or commented on it, rest assured that your reliable admirer will come to the rescue.  Why? Because they will be given a chance to be visible and remembered as the only one who gave feedback.  In addition, posting that you’re sad, sick, upset, in most cases are invitations for you admirers to respond.

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25 CRAZY JAMAICAN WAYS TO DIE @duttyberryshow


Welcome to the DuttyBerryShow blog, I hope that you have been enjoying the blogs thus far and I thank you for the support. Now dat mi get all a dat decent stuff out di way, let’s get to the meat of the matter.   As I sat in my couch watching the news I thought to myself what would be some funny and crazy Jamaican ways to ‘kick the bucket’. After consulting with my friend Courtney, I came up with these 25 ways. Enjoy! Live and laugh!

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1) You disrespected a police officer and somehow a bullet from the officer’s gun ends up in your head.  The police, after conducting a few seconds of investigation will conclude that a shootout ensued and that the other members of your gang escaped in nearby bushes.

2) You decided to ‘tek a gal man’ and she found out and decided to ‘daaab yuh wid acid’ while you were getting your hair done on Princess Street Downtown.

3) You were so hot, that it became unbearable to stand in one spot. As you walked off to wine, Roger Clarke fell from the sky and smashed you to pieces.

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4) You were disobedient at a street dance. You did not raise your hands when the selector yelled, “All a di man dem from yuh know seh yuh straight put yuh hand ina di air.”

5) You followed Kartel’s advice and took penis because you thought it was easy.  The penis was enormous and caused your vaginal walls to erupt.

6) You told a badman to go and ‘labba juice’ (suck) his mother.

7) You tried to follow the bus conductor and skillfully ‘bail out’ of the coaster bus. You missed a step, tripped and slammed into the ground.

8) Your mother finally decided to carry out her favorite threat to you. For example,”Mi a go knock out yuh brain ino pickney.”

9) Cliff Twang told you that “nobody can cross it” but you ignored his warning, tried to get across, and got washed away in ‘many water like Hellshire’.

10) You saw Lisa Hanna up close and her awesomeness was just too overwhelming to handle.  Just as you had a little hope of survival she whispered in your ears with her Toni Braxton like voice and you just fainted and died.

11) You went to buy a cheese patty.  The worker told you that the patties would be ready in 3 minutes. Two hours later, the worker returns to tell you 5 more minutes. You fall to the floor. The autopsy revealed that you died of starvation.

12) You decided to cut your expenses by attempting to ‘bridge’ light. While doing so a bolt of lightning struck you. Involuntarily causing you to do the Harlem shake before collapsing.

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13) Upon receiving your JPS light bill you got a sudden heart attack because it was just so high.

14) While at a dance you heard your jam playing and felt compelled to transform into a sketel and jump from a speaker box and land in a split. However while jumping, you lost your balance and landed head first.

15) You went to the ‘Gully-Side’ and spray painted the wall “FREE WERL BOSS”

16) You wore your PNP shirt on the wrong lane in Mountain View during election season.

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17) After watching the All Angles bleaching documentary, you opted to emulate Bobbette and ‘rub off’ your first, second and third layers.  Because your cream was so powerful your skin began to ‘buss’ until your body combusted.

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18) In Half Way Three celebrating Jamaica’s 4 *100 meter win. The crowd got a bit too excited and you got trampled in a stampede.

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19) Having sex to ‘Dye Dye’ and upon your 51st orgasm after you got twisted, you stopped breathing because you body was not used to such extreme pleasure.

20) You tried to end a relationship with a policeman.

21) You went to St.Thomas and offended an Obeah man.

22) You died of old age waiting on the Reggae Boyz to qualify for another World Cup.

23) Running towards the scene of a shootout and a bullet ‘bax yuh cross yuh face’.

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24) As an amateur in the kitchen, you tried to prepare the national dish and  ‘di ackee poison yuh’ because you forced some open.

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25) You followed too many of RDX’s instructions. Jumping, ‘kotching’, ‘broading out’ and bending over. One day, as you proceeded to bend over and ‘touch toe’ you pulled a muscle, cricked your back, crashed to the floor and had a slow and embarrassing death.

THANKS FOR READING THIS BLOG. REMEMBER TO RATE, COMMENT AND SHARE. Checkout my vlog on YouTube ‘DuttyBerry Show’ and keep posted. Live and laugh.

If JAMAICA were an Actual Woman, she would be… #JamaicaIndependence51



Zahra Redwood

Happy 51st birthday Jamaica! Woot! Woot! Yaay! Rae! Woi! Lawd! ‘CD Master di real blaster’, Pull Up! So now that I have celebrated my country’s independence and showcased my patriotism in true Jamaican style, I shall now ‘stookie’ my way into why I felt the need to blog about Jamaica.  I love my country with all my heart and I guess I just wanted to contribute something to her today. I decided why not personify this little island. So, here goes.

1) She would be extremely sexy

Have you ever looked at Jamaica on a map before? Isn’t Jamaica curvaceous? Especially wid da likkle curly part deh rite a Clarendon.  Jamaica would have an hour glass figure. Not even Kim Kardashian could compete with her.  Small waist, broad hips, thick legs, full breast and a bootyllicious derriere. Oh, how could I forget her ‘kitty’ wuda be so turnt up till all Portia wuda tax it.

2)  She would be a bit ratchet or at least have a ratchet side to her

Jamaica’s facebook name would probably be ‘Jamaica Stay-Good Bristish’ or at least something close to that. Once a song a give instructions she willing fi dweet. If a 6:30 she can do dat, kotch, jump, siddung or bruk it down she is more than capable to execute. She wuda frighten fi foreign man wid a passion. Sad to say, there is a huge possibility that she would be extremely ‘HYPE’. She would probably be attending Dream Weekend right now courtesy of a loan she attained. In other words, she wuda spend money weh she nuh av, jus fi floss and wen she go home bawl bout hardlife. Not even gonna address the heap a people she wuda owe.

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3) Jamaica would have a ‘warm’ personality

She would be charming, vibrant, essentially the life of the party. Not to mention, hardworking, determined, passionate, street-smart and a avid patois user.

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4) Would be the Queen of Chores

Jamaica would be a neat freak, constantly tidying up around the house.  Taking care of her children. Cooking, cleaning, washing and still finding the time and energy to ‘dashout’ in the bedroom.

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5) She would have 14 children

No need to explain this one.  Her favorite would be James.

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6) Would be overly religious

She wuda mek Betty-Ann Blaine look like she naah try.  Front row at church would be her second address.  Grace Thrillers would be played each Sunday morning as she prepares breakfast in the kitchen.

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7) Would love to gossip and enjoy ‘excitement’

Each situation would be seen as an opportunity to use the words ‘Rae, woi, and lawd’

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8) Would be committed to a rasta man.

Yes, Jamaica would want a “natty on her frontline.”

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9) Would be multi-talented

Jamaica would excel in track and field, agriculture, beauty pageants, dancing, deejaying etc

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10) Would be violent

Just picture a Jamaican Madea. Cross, angry, miserable! Naah tek nuh tuff chat from nuh boy, nuh gal, no day!

 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to rate and comment.

7 Signs That Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Is Attracted To Your Friend


“Mi dun tek yuh man so what, a me di man waan caz him she mi so fat.” Ladies can you imagine your bestfriend saying those words to you?   Men, how would you react if your ‘bredren’ came up to you, with you your girlfriend in hand chanting, “Well a nuh mi mek yuh catty waan stray… a nuh nuttin personal a jus so di playa play.” Not a pretty picture is it?  Losing a boyfriend or girlfriend to a close friend can be one of the most devastating things in your life.  Often times it starts off as just an innocent attraction, but if left to develop on its own it could lead to some major ‘Jerry Springer ’ drama.  Listed here are 7 warning signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend is attracted to your friend.

1.     Your partner constantly inquires about your friend

Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s a thin line between being a genuinely caring and concerned person and being someone dangerously interested in another person.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend is asking you about your friends’ interests, whereabouts and other personal information then it may be an indication that he/she is drawn to your friend.

2.     Always wants your friend to join whenever you guys make plans to go out

There is nothing wrong with your girlfriend or boyfriend wanting to spend time with your friend but if he/she is only interested in going out when your friend is included then obviously your friend is upstaging you.

3.     Intense Staring

This is arguably the easiest thing to identify.  If you notice your partner looking at your friend in a sexual manner then it’s time for you the start avoiding situations in which your partner and friend are in the same setting.  As a precaution, never hang out with any of your friends that matches your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s ideal type.  So, if your girlfriend likes tall and athletic guys do not bring her around your basketball-playing best friend.

4.     Gives your friend more attention

Can you imagine hanging out with your partner and friend only to be left out of the conversation? Truth be told, sometimes the friend may have more in common with your bf/gf, but still, it’s not expected that he/she totally forgets that you’re present.  Does your partner remember things about your friend that he doesn’t remember about you?  Is he/she always willing do favors for your friend?  If the answers to these questions are yes then you may be in for trouble.

5.     Develops a sudden/unexpected friendship with your friend

If after just a few days of being introduced to your friend your partner has somehow acquired your friend’s bb pin, phone number, email, Twitter and Facebook names, there is clearly a cause for concern.  In your presence, they seem like strangers but occasionally you hear your bf/gf make mention of conversations/scenarios that you knew nothing about. Watch out for nick names that your partner has for your friend or the inside jokes they share between themselves.  By now you should have seen Keyshia Cole’s Trust and Believe music video, so keep your guards up.

6.     Flirts with your friend

Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that our significant other and friend would not be bold enough to flirt in our presence.  But guess what! It happens.  Often times this ‘flirtationship’ is disguised as just a playful friendship.  For example, your girlfriend may ask to be lifted by your friend or she always wants to see his abs.  On the flip side, your boyfriend may enjoy tickling your friend or playfully teasing her about her looks even though she’s gorgeous.

7.     Wants to have a threesome with your friend

This is as explicit as it gets. During the course of your relationship you may opt to switching things up a bit by having a ménage a trois.  That’s understandable.  However, if your girlfriend or boyfriends promptly suggests your friend, without any hesitation, then it’s a sure sign that your significant other ‘did want up yuh friend body longtime’.

Thanks for reading.  Remember to comment, like and rate and share this blog post.

 

 

Forced Out: Story of a Gay Jamaican Teen


Strikingly bold yet sedate eyes move frantically around the room seemingly fishing for something missing.  His clothes stretch across his noticeably altered skin.  He glides towards the door as his hands caress his fastidiously braided hair.  He is not the stereotypical Jamaican male.  He doesn’t want to be.  He is a courageous young man clutching to a relationship with his family while learning to adjust to the consequences of having an unpopular identity.

At 19, Keive Dyre is a humble, hopeful, humanistic Jamaican homosexual.  In a country in which males are easily and openly rejected for any public portrayal of a perceived ‘deviant’ lifestyle, he is somehow brave enough to reject social norms and embrace his ‘true’ identity.

Born and raised in Salem, a relatively small community in St. Ann, Keive grew to appreciate family life and develop a sense of independence and responsibility from an early age.  His mother, Carlene Moodie, has five children; each with a different father.  With no stable father figure present, Ms. Moodie had to assume the role of a single parent.  “She had to struggle to make ends meet especially being a mom with five kids. Dad assisted financially but not always,” explained Keive.

In 1999, five year old Keive experienced his first major dramatic incident.  The place he had called home was burnt to the ground, forcing the family to move to his grandmother’s house.  To this day the cause of the fire is unknown.  The family stayed there for approximately three years until his mom was able to stand on her own again.  Ms. Moodie stated, “I did have to stay till I could buy back few furniture and find a new place to rent…Wen mi lef grandma him a did bout eight”.

During his childhood, Keive remembers sharing wonderful moments with his family.  “I was a jovial and outspoken child…I lived like the average child.  I played nuff games and had a free spirit,” shared Keive.  He adds that the only thing he did that may be considered ‘different’ was to participate in ‘female’ games such as dolly house and dandy shandy.  He maintains that his gender bending behavior was never seriously addressed by his mom.  “Mommy did jus laugh wen mi gwan like girl and stuff…she and my sister found it entertaining,” revealed Keive.  His father, on the contrary, was never amused by it.  He recalls a conversation he had with his dad in which he asked his father to purchase additional underwear.  His father replied “panty or brief”.  Keive laughed.  “I distinctly remember him telling me dat mi gwaan like too much gal and dat any day him hear seh mi gay him a go kill mi,” disclosed Keive.

The relaxed and fun relationship Keive had with his mom was something his other siblings envied.  “They laughed like best friends. They were inseparable. If dem di any closer dem wuda be conjoined twins,” shared Keive’s eldest sister, Michele.  “I rememba dis one time me and mum did a chat dis woman from down di road bout how she smell bad.  Fun times,” shared Keive.  In addition to conversing about trivial subject matters he remembers discussing with his mom his dreams, getting out of poverty and developing a strong sense of self.

At 13, while attending Ochi Rios High School, Keive’s sexual identity began to develop.  He started having feelings for other boys and desperately tried to come to grips with his emotions.  “I liked girls enuh but my heart was never really with any of them,” revealed Keive.  As he progressed through high school, he met other gay teens, gained friendships and started dating.  He states that he would often regret having feelings for boys.  “I would never even wish this life on my worst enemy…jus coming to terms with yourself is extremely draining,” stated Keive.  He argues that he never viewed himself as a misfit.  He simply wanted to function as a normal teen. His only concern was disappointing his family and having to deal with people’s reactions.  Losing his mother’s support was never a primary issue.  “I know my mom.  I knew if she found out her greatest problem would be others harming me,” divulged Keive.  On the flipside, he vehemently worried about his father knowing of his sexuality.  “Mi kno seh if he found out, he would stop financing me”.  So as a precaution, he masqueraded as a heterosexual around his family and community members to avoid scrutiny.

However, this did not end up happening, as things took and unexpected turn.  After returning from church one day, his mother greeted him at the door with his diary in hand.  He was speechless.  His diary held captive his daily activities, tales of all his relationships and confirmation of his sexuality. That night the closet crumbled leaving him open to the world.  “Da night deh, I’m not gonna lie I was upset…Mi did always have a feeling but just seeing di proof like dat…I just wasn’t prepared,” revealed his mom.  Keive added, “My mom and sister were very upset. They yelled, cried and mom even threatened to tell my father if I didn’t stop being gay”.  Not once during the confrontation did Keive speak.  “Him jus stand up wid dis sad look pon him face,” shared Michele.  It wasn’t until bedtime that tears rushed from his eyes as he recapped the day’s events.  After a few tense days, life at home returned to normal the following week.  “Wi jus reason wid him and tell him we love him sameway and wi soon realize dat he was the same lazy boy,” shared Ms. Moodie.

Now that he and his mom had regained their relationship, the only other person to confront was his father Raymond.  After leaving high school, gaining employment and moving out of his mom’s home, Keive prepared to break the news to his dad who had just migrated to the United States.  He decided to send him a text message.  “I jus got up and sent him a three word text “I am gay,” stated Keive.  In less than a minute his father responded, “Thanks for the truth”.  Understandably, Keive was quite surprised by his father’s seemingly positive reaction.  Never in a million years would he have expected such a sincere answer.

Today, Keive enjoys a harmonious and honest relationship with his mother and siblings.  “We are the closest we have ever been,” expressed Keive.  He mentions that he communicates with his mother daily and for the first time, is able to discuss his relationships with her; something he finds a bit cumbersome.  Contrastingly, he is yet to develop such a bond with his father.  “My father never calls.  We speak like every six months or so and I’m the one who always calls,” shared Keive.  He describes the conversations as brief and forced.  Still he wishes to have his father’s support.  He shares, “I know it must be hard for him to deal with having a gay son but I would love to have him in my life.  I don’t need society to approve of me; I would rather to have family. I’m not a rapist or some demon child… I just want him to see that I’m an intelligent and ambitious young man who wants nothing more than to make him proud.”